a great girl, named after a great person.
she deserves this man, God.
if you please, heal the sorrow that hugging her all these time.
do make here chin up.
once she loves him, i think.
he fell for her too, as far as i know.
so, please.
let their dream do come true.
they wanted each other, ever since they feel it in the first place.
let them hold their breathe.
and deserves what's best.
both of them are the sweetest persons, in such a hard way.
their original and perfect way for each other.
12.18.2009
12.14.2009
BYE-BYE BABY
My babys got a brand new boyfriend she things my life
is going to end. It doesn‘t hard enough to forget her.
It doesn‘t hard for me at all
Remember.. when I came to bring her up
Then she walked and took me down
Make my head just going round and round
And then I tried again to put her up
And again she dropped me down
Oh my god, I think my mind has gone
So I said bye bye baby.. love
My babys got a brand new boyfriend
Shes hiding something on my back
My babys let me tell you one thing
You better rally watch your neck
is going to end. It doesn‘t hard enough to forget her.
It doesn‘t hard for me at all
Remember.. when I came to bring her up
Then she walked and took me down
Make my head just going round and round
And then I tried again to put her up
And again she dropped me down
Oh my god, I think my mind has gone
So I said bye bye baby.. love
My babys got a brand new boyfriend
Shes hiding something on my back
My babys let me tell you one thing
You better rally watch your neck
12.05.2009
Surat Untuk-Nya
Terima Kasih, Tuhan.
Engkau telah membuat saya dan dia (mungkin) jatuh cinta.
Syukur saya ucapkan, Tuhan. Karena cara-Mu yang ajaib membuat saya dan dia (mungkin) bahagia.
Namun, Tuhan.
Segalanya semakin tidak menentu, mungkin akan segera berakhir.
Hati saya dan dia (mungkin) terluka, Tuhan.
Harus bagaimana ini?
Kuatkanlah saya dan dia, Tuhan. Karena kami harus berjuang untuk menggapai mimpi.
Tuhan, kuatkanlah kami dengan berbagai cara-Mu yang ajaib.
Terima Kasih, Tuhan.
Engkau telah membuat saya dan dia (mungkin) jatuh cinta.
Syukur saya ucapkan, Tuhan. Karena cara-Mu yang ajaib membuat saya dan dia (mungkin) bahagia.
Namun, Tuhan.
Segalanya semakin tidak menentu, mungkin akan segera berakhir.
Hati saya dan dia (mungkin) terluka, Tuhan.
Harus bagaimana ini?
Kuatkanlah saya dan dia, Tuhan. Karena kami harus berjuang untuk menggapai mimpi.
Tuhan, kuatkanlah kami dengan berbagai cara-Mu yang ajaib.
Terima Kasih, Tuhan.
jatuh cinta dan menderita
ketika segalanya jelas, bukan dari bibirmu, sayang.
dari bibir mereka, sayang.
hati ini entah berupa apa saat ini.
mengapa begini? mengapa begitu?
semuanya terasa ambigu.
apa yang kita alami selama ini?
semuanya hilang begitu sajakah?
aku jatuh untukmu, sayang.
aku melakukan hal2 yang menyenangkan bersamamu, sayang.
tapi, mengapa?
hanya itu pertanyaan dalam lubuk hati yang terluka ini.
ternyata, engkau memang berbeda.
sangat berbeda, bahkan takkan ada yang menyamakan.
sangat tidak ingin melepasmu, sayang.
bagaimana ini?
segalanya sangat disayangkan, sangat disayangkan.
cepat atau lambat memang haruslah hati ini memilih.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang megusap lututmu disaat segalanya membiru.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang menanti mu berlari mengejar bola.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang sangat bahagia menikmati ikan goreng.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang sangat serius mengerjakan segalanya.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang membantuku dalam susah senangku.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang merangkulku dari depan saat malam membeku.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang memenuhi setiap janji2nya.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang menatapku dengan berjuta cara indahmu.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang... yang... yang... yang... yang... yang..
telah membuat ku jatuh terlalu dalam.
sayang.
apa yang harus kita lakukan?
segalanya abu-abu.
berbahagialah, sayang.
dengan cara2mu yang luar biasa.
laki2 hebatlah yang membuatku jatuh cinta.
laki2 hebatlah yang membuatku terluka.
selamat berjuang, laki2 hebat. :)
dari bibir mereka, sayang.
hati ini entah berupa apa saat ini.
mengapa begini? mengapa begitu?
semuanya terasa ambigu.
apa yang kita alami selama ini?
semuanya hilang begitu sajakah?
aku jatuh untukmu, sayang.
aku melakukan hal2 yang menyenangkan bersamamu, sayang.
tapi, mengapa?
hanya itu pertanyaan dalam lubuk hati yang terluka ini.
ternyata, engkau memang berbeda.
sangat berbeda, bahkan takkan ada yang menyamakan.
sangat tidak ingin melepasmu, sayang.
bagaimana ini?
segalanya sangat disayangkan, sangat disayangkan.
cepat atau lambat memang haruslah hati ini memilih.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang megusap lututmu disaat segalanya membiru.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang menanti mu berlari mengejar bola.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang sangat bahagia menikmati ikan goreng.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang sangat serius mengerjakan segalanya.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang membantuku dalam susah senangku.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang merangkulku dari depan saat malam membeku.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang memenuhi setiap janji2nya.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang menatapku dengan berjuta cara indahmu.
sangat ingin terus memilihmu, sayang.
yang... yang... yang... yang... yang... yang..
telah membuat ku jatuh terlalu dalam.
sayang.
apa yang harus kita lakukan?
segalanya abu-abu.
berbahagialah, sayang.
dengan cara2mu yang luar biasa.
laki2 hebatlah yang membuatku jatuh cinta.
laki2 hebatlah yang membuatku terluka.
selamat berjuang, laki2 hebat. :)
11.29.2009
291109
saat air mata, membasahi bumi
yang tak akan bisa menghapus sang pedih
aku pun tak bisa
saat kau meminta
'tuk bangkitkan lagi
yang t'lah lama mati
biarlah, biarlah semua
berlalu seperti waktu
dan kini hadapi semua
walaupun itu perih
ini bukan akhir dunia
dan bukan segalanya
janganlah berhenti
sampai akhir nanti
biarlah, biarlah semua
berlalu seperti waktu
dan kini hadapi semua
walaupun itu perih
tak usah kau sesali
dan tak perlu kau tangisi
semua yang t'lah pergi
walau tinggalkan perih
biarlah, biarlah semua
berlalu seperti waktu
dan kini hadapi semua
walaupun itu perih
walaupun itu perih, walaupun itu perih
walaupun itu perih, walaupun itu perih
yang tak akan bisa menghapus sang pedih
aku pun tak bisa
saat kau meminta
'tuk bangkitkan lagi
yang t'lah lama mati
biarlah, biarlah semua
berlalu seperti waktu
dan kini hadapi semua
walaupun itu perih
ini bukan akhir dunia
dan bukan segalanya
janganlah berhenti
sampai akhir nanti
biarlah, biarlah semua
berlalu seperti waktu
dan kini hadapi semua
walaupun itu perih
tak usah kau sesali
dan tak perlu kau tangisi
semua yang t'lah pergi
walau tinggalkan perih
biarlah, biarlah semua
berlalu seperti waktu
dan kini hadapi semua
walaupun itu perih
walaupun itu perih, walaupun itu perih
walaupun itu perih, walaupun itu perih
11.27.2009
Virtual Insanity
it's always seems to beautiful to be true.
thank God, at least i realized it already.
what a beautiful disaster. but, i've done it, man!
i feel sorry for you, really.
deeply sorry, my dear.
you're the one that will end up alone.
playing others like your toys, easy to break and easy to fix.
but, dear. i'm sure, it will broke you into pieces.
you and you alone.
stop playing game with us - ladies.
you're not that good.
you're such a sweet nightmare.
but, it ends now.
between us? nothing happened.
thank you for brighten up and shutted down the light of my life.
now, get yourself a way to get over this situations.
in my opinion, you're not more than a begger.
a begger of others heart.
watch yourself.
thank God, at least i realized it already.
what a beautiful disaster. but, i've done it, man!
i feel sorry for you, really.
deeply sorry, my dear.
you're the one that will end up alone.
playing others like your toys, easy to break and easy to fix.
but, dear. i'm sure, it will broke you into pieces.
you and you alone.
stop playing game with us - ladies.
you're not that good.
you're such a sweet nightmare.
but, it ends now.
between us? nothing happened.
thank you for brighten up and shutted down the light of my life.
now, get yourself a way to get over this situations.
in my opinion, you're not more than a begger.
a begger of others heart.
watch yourself.
10.31.2009
Hey, My Man
Hey, how was your day?
Hey, you must’ve been really happy now. I can feel it, when you’re sitting and having a great time with some people – especially you mom. I won’t disturb you today; just have a great time, ok?
Hey, I’ll be gone the day after tomorrow. It’s the saddest thing that happened to me now, when I have to leave you all alone – even I know you’ll be just fine, but me? I will not be ok – it’s Y’less. What a term!
Hey, I couldn’t breathe easily now – without knowing about you today. My eyes watering, my tummy won’t be hungry and I still don’t know where you are. What a pathetic girl!
Talk to you soon. :)
Hey, you must’ve been really happy now. I can feel it, when you’re sitting and having a great time with some people – especially you mom. I won’t disturb you today; just have a great time, ok?
Hey, I’ll be gone the day after tomorrow. It’s the saddest thing that happened to me now, when I have to leave you all alone – even I know you’ll be just fine, but me? I will not be ok – it’s Y’less. What a term!
Hey, I couldn’t breathe easily now – without knowing about you today. My eyes watering, my tummy won’t be hungry and I still don’t know where you are. What a pathetic girl!
Talk to you soon. :)
Mind and Soul
Dear, Man.
There’s a huge differences between us. The things neither you nor me could ever change. The basic things created and applied by easterners. What do you think about it? Well, you must’ve said that you’re not interested in traditions that captivated some people in some placed, Liberated Man. But, why then you never mention this before? You never mention about our future in your brilliant words, Classics Man. You can explain and describe a lot of the studies from whole over the world, but this is it – the things that haven’t been said by you. Aren’t you interested or not anymore? You’re just the man of my dream, Bold Man. You made your own space in my mind and soul – without further discussion with me. But I love it, like it, adore it, and want it. Because it’s you, Masterpiece Man. Taken from much man that created a smile in my face, your smile is the widest one. Taken from much man that created a tears drop in my chin, your tears definitely not the worst one – my other Big Man still hold the first champion.
Is this love or just our runaway path? When, you’re lonesome, I fill you with my passion. When I’m lonesome, you fill me with your passion. Just by standing side by side, do that counts? I do hope it counts as our willingness of happiness.
Am I the one that keep on wanting or hoping you and me can work this out? I want to be there, hold you tight, when you’re alone. We’re just having the highest level of shyness, when we couldn’t even tell eye to eye about this. I’m too arrogant to even bring this up to the surface. What about you? Do you even understand what’s on your mind and soul?
There’s a huge differences between us. The things neither you nor me could ever change. The basic things created and applied by easterners. What do you think about it? Well, you must’ve said that you’re not interested in traditions that captivated some people in some placed, Liberated Man. But, why then you never mention this before? You never mention about our future in your brilliant words, Classics Man. You can explain and describe a lot of the studies from whole over the world, but this is it – the things that haven’t been said by you. Aren’t you interested or not anymore? You’re just the man of my dream, Bold Man. You made your own space in my mind and soul – without further discussion with me. But I love it, like it, adore it, and want it. Because it’s you, Masterpiece Man. Taken from much man that created a smile in my face, your smile is the widest one. Taken from much man that created a tears drop in my chin, your tears definitely not the worst one – my other Big Man still hold the first champion.
Is this love or just our runaway path? When, you’re lonesome, I fill you with my passion. When I’m lonesome, you fill me with your passion. Just by standing side by side, do that counts? I do hope it counts as our willingness of happiness.
Am I the one that keep on wanting or hoping you and me can work this out? I want to be there, hold you tight, when you’re alone. We’re just having the highest level of shyness, when we couldn’t even tell eye to eye about this. I’m too arrogant to even bring this up to the surface. What about you? Do you even understand what’s on your mind and soul?
10.26.2009
Dear, who-ever-you-are
my heart is as cold as my feet now. trembling since the very beginning. you made me couldn't be sad as i used to, but made me smile as wide as i've ever been. those feeling, when you're standing right next to me, made me tummyache. but, very happy indeed. you can control me heart, just like flipping your hand. me heart is soulfully for you. don't know since when, but you kept those smile and happiness around. thank you for everything - maybe you have not understand now, but i'm sure you will. in fact, you made me feel this way. did this was also your capability as a human being? making others hearts beats so fast and made them sad at the same time?
dear, who-ever-you-are,
please take care of me heart. the only one that i protect and had for a while time. you also made me mom happy, everytime i told her about you and your gentle attitude. me mom have not felt that way in a long time, all i wanted is to make her happy. just like you wanted to do with your mom. both of them is all that we have right? well, maybe when me dad come back - in some short period of time, he'd be happy to have you too. because you're different, but still low profile and gentle.
dear, who-ever-you-are,
please take care of our growing love. let it grow and grow, as big as its wanted. i'm happy to be with you, taking care of you. even though just sitting next to you, while you're doing your mountains of job. i always believe you can do those things. well, you're the master, sir.
dear, who-ever-you-are,
let's working so dam* hard to catch our falling stars. because, you always had your thousands dreams, so do i. let's grab them together. keep praying and sitting right next to each other, protecting our heart and love, and also our habits. sorry, to prohibit you with this and that, i'm sure you don't like to be captivated. but it's always been for you and me own good. reminding us of how this life will be beautiful with you in mine, and me in yours.
dear, who-ever-you-are,
already missing you now. those feeling crawling in me mind and heart. hoping that you will understand. you did you best, and you always will do your best, you're my dream, pal. what about me? am i worth it for you? that's all i'm asking..
dear, who-ever-you-are,
if we're meant to be together, you'll come for me, and i'll come for you. all that i wanted, is to be with you.
#dear, Almighty-God
hear our prayer.
thank you.
dear, who-ever-you-are,
please take care of me heart. the only one that i protect and had for a while time. you also made me mom happy, everytime i told her about you and your gentle attitude. me mom have not felt that way in a long time, all i wanted is to make her happy. just like you wanted to do with your mom. both of them is all that we have right? well, maybe when me dad come back - in some short period of time, he'd be happy to have you too. because you're different, but still low profile and gentle.
dear, who-ever-you-are,
please take care of our growing love. let it grow and grow, as big as its wanted. i'm happy to be with you, taking care of you. even though just sitting next to you, while you're doing your mountains of job. i always believe you can do those things. well, you're the master, sir.
dear, who-ever-you-are,
let's working so dam* hard to catch our falling stars. because, you always had your thousands dreams, so do i. let's grab them together. keep praying and sitting right next to each other, protecting our heart and love, and also our habits. sorry, to prohibit you with this and that, i'm sure you don't like to be captivated. but it's always been for you and me own good. reminding us of how this life will be beautiful with you in mine, and me in yours.
dear, who-ever-you-are,
already missing you now. those feeling crawling in me mind and heart. hoping that you will understand. you did you best, and you always will do your best, you're my dream, pal. what about me? am i worth it for you? that's all i'm asking..
dear, who-ever-you-are,
if we're meant to be together, you'll come for me, and i'll come for you. all that i wanted, is to be with you.
#dear, Almighty-God
hear our prayer.
thank you.
10.16.2009
Lagu Wanita
Selama ada wanita
Hidup ‘kan terasa indah
Jikalau tiada wanita
Hidup ‘kan terasa hampa
Ku lahir dari wanita
Tak bisa hidup tanpanya
Jikalau tiada wanita
Cintaku untuk siapa
Tiada lelah ku berucap
Terima kasih Tuhan
Engkau ciptakan wanita
‘tuk jadi pasangan jiwa
Oh... wanita...
Hidup ‘kan terasa indah
Jikalau tiada wanita
Hidup ‘kan terasa hampa
Ku lahir dari wanita
Tak bisa hidup tanpanya
Jikalau tiada wanita
Cintaku untuk siapa
Tiada lelah ku berucap
Terima kasih Tuhan
Engkau ciptakan wanita
‘tuk jadi pasangan jiwa
Oh... wanita...
10.11.2009
The Best Day
I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home
I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today
I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names
I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today
I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you
There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world
And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home
I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today
I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names
I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today
I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you
There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world
And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today
mr. with a red bike
he's the one that made me couldn't stop smiling.
how come? he was just saying beautiful things, but the simple one.
asking about me self in almost every basic informations.
thoughtful.
he's the one that made me feel special.
how come? he was just treat me well, even in small things.
do this and that softly and gently.
gorgeous.
he's the one that made me angry, so stressful.
how come? he was just trying to ask me out, too late.
changing some appointments in the last minutes.
spontaneous.
he's the one that made me feel proud, just by standing right next to him.
how come? he was doing his usual habits.
in fact, he's a great man - know what he's doing.
fabulous.
he's the one that made me speechless - quite girl.
how come? he said about those wonderful things out there.
when, i couldn't stop just listening to him, at some point maybe he's tired of talking, then silence still.
smart.
he's the one that made me waiting and waiting.
how come? come and go, is his freewill.
maybe, every girl would not waiting for this kind of man.
workaholic.
he's the one that always look me in the eye.
how come? when he talk, walk, even driving - always wanted to see the eyes of his opponents.
eagle eyes.
he's the one that made me breathless.
how come? i made stupid things when i'm next to him.
nervous always being my friend when i'm with him.
adorable.
he's the one that made me fall for him.
how come? less than a week, he already stole my heart.
please, take care of this gently, i needed it.
gentlemen.
he always and always..
done everything beautifully, full of his brilliant thoughts.
the smiles, wide up, nicely - always made me feel peaceful.
hard to find him, nowadays.
please, let it flow, sweetie pie..
(you made me need you)
10.10.2009
malem minggu gila
hahahahahahaaa..
what a stupid girl i am.
doi lebih sedih karena ga ada bola di malem minggu ini.
sedangkan gw? hey, i'm so pathetic.
mencak2 dikamar sendirian, gara2 doi malem minggu ini.
emang dasar HEARTLESS. kampret.
mulut gw udah ampe pait banget gara2 ngerokok malem minggu ini.
doi? makan bebek ama temen2nya. hahahahaha.
bilangnya males keluar karena macet malem minggu ini.
tapi? gw ditinggal ampe ga laper2..
what a stupid girl i am.
doi lebih sedih karena ga ada bola di malem minggu ini.
sedangkan gw? hey, i'm so pathetic.
mencak2 dikamar sendirian, gara2 doi malem minggu ini.
emang dasar HEARTLESS. kampret.
mulut gw udah ampe pait banget gara2 ngerokok malem minggu ini.
doi? makan bebek ama temen2nya. hahahahaha.
bilangnya males keluar karena macet malem minggu ini.
tapi? gw ditinggal ampe ga laper2..
tonight.
not as easy as that, gorgeous.
please, not tonight.
i'm done with you, tonight.
i lost my appetite, tonight.
just want to mourning, tonight.
finishing my paper, tonight.
then watching DVD, tonight.
(why am i waiting for you, tonight?)
get lost, tonight.
i need more time to make things right, tonight.
because i'm angry tonight.
please, not tonight.
i'm done with you, tonight.
i lost my appetite, tonight.
just want to mourning, tonight.
finishing my paper, tonight.
then watching DVD, tonight.
(why am i waiting for you, tonight?)
get lost, tonight.
i need more time to make things right, tonight.
because i'm angry tonight.
anger : useless
who the hell am I?
a confusing night with a confusing man.
my head is full of anger, that's why i'm smoking now. (sorry, mom)
from every girl that he met, why he have to choose me?
instead of those beautiful and smart-ass ladies?
those tears are not for you, sweetie.
it's for me, why am i so pathetic? thinking about tonight.
too much expectations, i guess.
stupid girl!
me? oh, no i'm not stupid..
i was just faking all of my sweetness and happiness with lies.
i wish, i could be the girl that you wanted.
high class girl, huh?
i'm definitely not, gorgeous.
you're high class man?
hell yeah, (at least that WAS my thought)
but, you're just busy with your work, life, i don't know what else.
i'm so sorry.
about what i said.
i'm just so angry tonight.
you turn my night upside down.
why?
how could you?
changing our plan, in your own way.
you know what.
it's useless.
we're different enough.
i hope this is the challenge when i choose to be with you.
just do whatever it is, that you loved.
then, come back, when you're ready.
what about me? am i always be ready for you?
well, i can't answer that now, handsome.
takecare.
a confusing night with a confusing man.
my head is full of anger, that's why i'm smoking now. (sorry, mom)
from every girl that he met, why he have to choose me?
instead of those beautiful and smart-ass ladies?
those tears are not for you, sweetie.
it's for me, why am i so pathetic? thinking about tonight.
too much expectations, i guess.
stupid girl!
me? oh, no i'm not stupid..
i was just faking all of my sweetness and happiness with lies.
i wish, i could be the girl that you wanted.
high class girl, huh?
i'm definitely not, gorgeous.
you're high class man?
hell yeah, (at least that WAS my thought)
but, you're just busy with your work, life, i don't know what else.
i'm so sorry.
about what i said.
i'm just so angry tonight.
you turn my night upside down.
why?
how could you?
changing our plan, in your own way.
you know what.
it's useless.
we're different enough.
i hope this is the challenge when i choose to be with you.
just do whatever it is, that you loved.
then, come back, when you're ready.
what about me? am i always be ready for you?
well, i can't answer that now, handsome.
takecare.
10.06.2009
laki2 hebat
luar biasa..
mungkin menjadi impian setiap wanita yang mendengarnya berbicara tentang pengetahuan dari berbagai ujung bumi.
gaya uniknya dalam menyampaikan segala sesuatu.
penuh dengan percaya diri, kadang dengan keraguan pula.
tapi itulah yang menarik.
kerendahan diri yang tiada bandingnya.
ia telah mencapai hal2 luar biasa dalam hidup ini.
sebentar lagi waktunya disini akan berakhir.
akan segera memulai sesuatu yang baru, yang luar biasa indah.
dengan bangga bisa bercerita kepada semua orang tentangnya.
ia telah keluar dari kebiasaannya seperti yang lain.
ia telah terbang tinggi, padahal belum waktunya.
tapi ia telah berhasil menggapai serpihan mimpinya sedikit demi sedikit.
berbagai kisah hidupnya mengalir begitu saja dari bibir singkronnya.
menyampaikan sesuatu dengan begitu meyakinkan.
terlihat dari sipit matanya, ia yakin, ia ragu.
tapi tanpa lelah, terus maju.
Tuhan, jika memang ia untukku, berkatilah.
jika memang ia bukan untukku, berikanlah yang terbaik padanya dan padaku.
semuanya pasti akan baik2 saja.
aku yakin itu.
jangan pernah menyerah, laki2 hebat.
karena dipunggunmu, pasti akan ada seseorang yang memelukmu dikala kedinginan.
mungkin menjadi impian setiap wanita yang mendengarnya berbicara tentang pengetahuan dari berbagai ujung bumi.
gaya uniknya dalam menyampaikan segala sesuatu.
penuh dengan percaya diri, kadang dengan keraguan pula.
tapi itulah yang menarik.
kerendahan diri yang tiada bandingnya.
ia telah mencapai hal2 luar biasa dalam hidup ini.
sebentar lagi waktunya disini akan berakhir.
akan segera memulai sesuatu yang baru, yang luar biasa indah.
dengan bangga bisa bercerita kepada semua orang tentangnya.
ia telah keluar dari kebiasaannya seperti yang lain.
ia telah terbang tinggi, padahal belum waktunya.
tapi ia telah berhasil menggapai serpihan mimpinya sedikit demi sedikit.
berbagai kisah hidupnya mengalir begitu saja dari bibir singkronnya.
menyampaikan sesuatu dengan begitu meyakinkan.
terlihat dari sipit matanya, ia yakin, ia ragu.
tapi tanpa lelah, terus maju.
Tuhan, jika memang ia untukku, berkatilah.
jika memang ia bukan untukku, berikanlah yang terbaik padanya dan padaku.
semuanya pasti akan baik2 saja.
aku yakin itu.
jangan pernah menyerah, laki2 hebat.
karena dipunggunmu, pasti akan ada seseorang yang memelukmu dikala kedinginan.
mimpimimpihidup
seseorang pasti punya tujuan hidup.
berbagai mimpi yang ditancapkan dengan setinggi langit.
dengan bangga berbagi mimpi dan semangat yang membara.
mendengarnya membuat hati pilu dan terus berdoa.
keyakinanlah yang membuatnya bertahan.
semakin dekat dengan berbagai mimpinya.
mimpiku pun akan kugantungkan dengan tinggi.
berharap dapat meraihnya bersama.
mungkinkah kita dapat bertahan?
mungkinkah kita mencapainya suatu saat nanti?
hatiku berdegup kencang saat ini, saat itu, dan akan terus begitu.
engkaulah yang membuatku berpikir tentang masa depan yang luar biasa.
keyakinan inilah yang kupegang teguh.
berharap, kaupun begitu berpegang pada-Nya.
berjuanglah, kekasih hati.
aku akan mendampingi disini.
mungkinkah kita bisa bersama hingga saat itu.
adakah hal yang membatasi kita?
terkagum dan menganga hatiku mendengarnya.
haruslah terus berjuang!
terus!
pantang menyerah.
percaya hati ini, engkau akan mencapainya.
silimitsilimitcicit.
hujan yang sedikit mengaliri hari kemarin.
semoga menjadi kenangan yang tidak terlupakan.
berbagai mimpi yang ditancapkan dengan setinggi langit.
dengan bangga berbagi mimpi dan semangat yang membara.
mendengarnya membuat hati pilu dan terus berdoa.
keyakinanlah yang membuatnya bertahan.
semakin dekat dengan berbagai mimpinya.
mimpiku pun akan kugantungkan dengan tinggi.
berharap dapat meraihnya bersama.
mungkinkah kita dapat bertahan?
mungkinkah kita mencapainya suatu saat nanti?
hatiku berdegup kencang saat ini, saat itu, dan akan terus begitu.
engkaulah yang membuatku berpikir tentang masa depan yang luar biasa.
keyakinan inilah yang kupegang teguh.
berharap, kaupun begitu berpegang pada-Nya.
berjuanglah, kekasih hati.
aku akan mendampingi disini.
mungkinkah kita bisa bersama hingga saat itu.
adakah hal yang membatasi kita?
terkagum dan menganga hatiku mendengarnya.
haruslah terus berjuang!
terus!
pantang menyerah.
percaya hati ini, engkau akan mencapainya.
silimitsilimitcicit.
hujan yang sedikit mengaliri hari kemarin.
semoga menjadi kenangan yang tidak terlupakan.
9.16.2009
Kopi dan Rokok
Apakah mereka pasangan yang baik?
Ketika rokok akan merusak pasangan lainnya - paru-paru?
Ketika kopi merusak puluhan pasangan lainnya - gigi?
Namun, mengapa mereka tidak dapat dipisahkan?
Mungkinkah itu jodoh?
Merusak pasangan lainnya, tetapi mereka tetap bertahan.
Walaupun mendapat kecaman dari berbagai arah, tetapi mereka tetap bertahan.
Karena mereka membuat orang yang menikmatinya menjadi terjaga.
Terjaga dari segala kemungkinan kejam hidup ini.
Kopi dan Rokok.
Bukan hal yang luar biasa.
Tetapi, selalu dikenang sepanjang masa.
Ketika rokok akan merusak pasangan lainnya - paru-paru?
Ketika kopi merusak puluhan pasangan lainnya - gigi?
Namun, mengapa mereka tidak dapat dipisahkan?
Mungkinkah itu jodoh?
Merusak pasangan lainnya, tetapi mereka tetap bertahan.
Walaupun mendapat kecaman dari berbagai arah, tetapi mereka tetap bertahan.
Karena mereka membuat orang yang menikmatinya menjadi terjaga.
Terjaga dari segala kemungkinan kejam hidup ini.
Kopi dan Rokok.
Bukan hal yang luar biasa.
Tetapi, selalu dikenang sepanjang masa.
nightmares of mine
Lots of fight with the most loveable person in the whole world. I'm deeply sorry, I didn't meant to. It's just my habit in early in the morning. Because, you're the one that wake me when my dreams started to fade out. And I wished to never woke up ever again, but you're always there to wake me up and starting my tender life.
I keep waiting for so long, to at least settle down my self. But, the fact is, I'm fuc*ing selfish. I couldn't barely face the fact about my own life. THIS IS IT.
This is my time to woke up - the real one, at least let me do my last raising. I wanted to make you dam* proud of me. I really do.
But it's so GodDam* hard - as hard as the conclusions for ASEAN.
I'm sorry, I said some mean words here. My bad.
I have coffee and cigars in front of me - to keep me awake, from long lasting sleep. I needed some aspirin, once I said, because some parts of my head/brain maybe, keep spinning around and round.
Well, let's face the fact that I'm here and always here - to tell you that I love you in every beat of my heart, Mom.
I keep waiting for so long, to at least settle down my self. But, the fact is, I'm fuc*ing selfish. I couldn't barely face the fact about my own life. THIS IS IT.
This is my time to woke up - the real one, at least let me do my last raising. I wanted to make you dam* proud of me. I really do.
But it's so GodDam* hard - as hard as the conclusions for ASEAN.
I'm sorry, I said some mean words here. My bad.
I have coffee and cigars in front of me - to keep me awake, from long lasting sleep. I needed some aspirin, once I said, because some parts of my head/brain maybe, keep spinning around and round.
Well, let's face the fact that I'm here and always here - to tell you that I love you in every beat of my heart, Mom.
8.12.2009
FOOLOSOPHY
nothing to think about, to talk about, to tell about and to do - for sure. but, just for a particular time, seems priceless.. just having me and my self enjoying the flow of the world. nice, huh?
well, it's mine and always be mine. because, i wanted it myself *says a friend of mine.
i'm enjoying it, hell yeah. during the time goes by, meeting everybody seems like a world for me. even though sometimes i couldn't barely remember their names. at least, i know their face, and the way they smile at me. it looks nice, rarely happened to others.
well, it's mine and always be mine. because, i wanted it myself *says a friend of mine.
i'm enjoying it, hell yeah. during the time goes by, meeting everybody seems like a world for me. even though sometimes i couldn't barely remember their names. at least, i know their face, and the way they smile at me. it looks nice, rarely happened to others.
8.11.2009
Let It Be
i'm nineteen this year, and i'm fully understood about it. but, how come - even my own Dad force me to have someone to be with. come on, Dad. you never even care where am i tonight, right? why on earth are you talking about love, virginity or whatsoever.. you don't even have on do you?
you lost it, Dad. well, you're a man in fact. so it won't be a scar right in it. really. but the story has been told to me. you're not the man i think you are. how bad or how good is that, better or worse, you're still my Father - my Dad - the only man in the world that i care about. well, for now.
why God. such a difficult way to find someone that i have to take care of - and take care of me back. do i needed it? or what? am i that strong, so You won't create such a lovely human being to sit next to me for sickness and health?
in fact, i'm not. i'm such vulnerable as a glass of wine. i'm such thick as the ice in the north pole.
i was thinking that it was not the right time for me to have someone such precious, because i'm having something as big as the mount fuji to solve - even wanted to destroy anything next to them in such sort notice. i have something to do.
at least, let me be happy - from the bottom of my heart.
you lost it, Dad. well, you're a man in fact. so it won't be a scar right in it. really. but the story has been told to me. you're not the man i think you are. how bad or how good is that, better or worse, you're still my Father - my Dad - the only man in the world that i care about. well, for now.
why God. such a difficult way to find someone that i have to take care of - and take care of me back. do i needed it? or what? am i that strong, so You won't create such a lovely human being to sit next to me for sickness and health?
in fact, i'm not. i'm such vulnerable as a glass of wine. i'm such thick as the ice in the north pole.
i was thinking that it was not the right time for me to have someone such precious, because i'm having something as big as the mount fuji to solve - even wanted to destroy anything next to them in such sort notice. i have something to do.
at least, let me be happy - from the bottom of my heart.
7.26.2009
family
it's been a while since i felt about the togetherness in my family. it used to be just the three of us, mom.
but i really happy, these past few times.. since the wedding of my beloved cousin. finally we gathered again. even though with tough ends. because, you weren't even there. but, at least my generation gathered. and, i want it again and again..
you know, the feeling of caring and loving that we've had, is so much precious than this fight stuff.
i miss my dad, i miss my uncles and aunts, i miss my cousins, i miss my nephews and nieces.. i miss spending holiday with them.
God, please..
take us to the better place, where we're always together. until the end of time.
amin.
but i really happy, these past few times.. since the wedding of my beloved cousin. finally we gathered again. even though with tough ends. because, you weren't even there. but, at least my generation gathered. and, i want it again and again..
you know, the feeling of caring and loving that we've had, is so much precious than this fight stuff.
i miss my dad, i miss my uncles and aunts, i miss my cousins, i miss my nephews and nieces.. i miss spending holiday with them.
God, please..
take us to the better place, where we're always together. until the end of time.
amin.
5.21.2009
countdown : 4..3..2..1..
i'll be flying high in the sky, in four days..
it'll take a long way through the oceans too..
to some place that i've never been seen before..
hm. i'll tell you one day about it..
so, now sit back, relax..
and let count it down.
:)
it'll take a long way through the oceans too..
to some place that i've never been seen before..
hm. i'll tell you one day about it..
so, now sit back, relax..
and let count it down.
:)
5.16.2009
harder, better, faster, stronger
be a good good daughter, good girl, good friends, good woman, good wife, good mother, good auntie, good grandma. obviously, good at everything that i've done and i'm about to do.
well. it's every human's dream righto.? so do i.
good at everything almost impossible, we're not The Great Jesus, anyway.
but at least, still trying to be our best at everything. yeah. that's damn right.
i'm thinking about my future, what's my plan after graduated from here.
hard to say. but, i want to work for UNHCR.. as one of their volunteers in Africa. maybe joining the MSF is one my dream, just to be the administrator, in fact they need doctors.. but i'm not a doctor or those type of helpers.
i'm just organizers maybe. help them to create hope, life and the future of those who suffer a lot.
God help me.
make this dream come true.
Thank you, God.
well. it's every human's dream righto.? so do i.
good at everything almost impossible, we're not The Great Jesus, anyway.
but at least, still trying to be our best at everything. yeah. that's damn right.
i'm thinking about my future, what's my plan after graduated from here.
hard to say. but, i want to work for UNHCR.. as one of their volunteers in Africa. maybe joining the MSF is one my dream, just to be the administrator, in fact they need doctors.. but i'm not a doctor or those type of helpers.
i'm just organizers maybe. help them to create hope, life and the future of those who suffer a lot.
God help me.
make this dream come true.
Thank you, God.
5.14.2009
a hole of feelings
never felt this way before. have you ever felt that no one there standing next to you? not even your own family.. they're having their own problems now. i am living alone up here, but where are they? they seems forget about me. what happened? what have i done? am i done something wrong..? in the crowded places, i still felt that way. emptiness and lonesome. what should i do? i don't know whose i should call late at night, or just this afternoon.. usually i'll call my mom or my sister. but they doesn't show some interest in my life story anymore. my dad? well. just don't talk about him. he doesn't even know what semester i'm having now. with no one beside me, i understand. i understand deeply, why someone decided to hang themselves in the bathroom. hm, i won't do that, to be exact. it's to crazy. i'm still having lots of plan in my head, waiting to be revealed. the one thing, that i've been thinking, what am i going to do now? what's the thing that i really wanted, like really wanted. i want to cook, spaghetti maybe.. for myself of course. my friend-norma, already shopped for that. so this afternoon, she'll drop it in my flat. flat? haha short of like that. thanks for her.. back to the topic of emptiness and lonesome.. why God ever created those feelings? that made the one who has it, feeling terribly down. i couldn't even cry these past view times.. i insist to cry last night, with korean movies.. hahahaha it created a smile, tears and laugh at the same time. so wonderful!! but after the movies ended.. those feeling came back. with the same or even worse situation.. then, i was just listening to some classical music, and imagining something beyond my thoughts.. i forgot it anyway. hehe hm. i should get going now.. getting uncomfortable, i haven't take a bath. hehe so, thanks for listening to my story.. i'm not used to be some complainer.. but, i'm complaining right now. can i do that? just in here.. let it be our little secret, ok? God bless..
this is for you K.B
just woke up this late afternoon..
and i've been thinking about you all night.
spend my night meaningless..
why you always standstill?
and i'm began to be the doer?
i want to be real.. like for real.
i'm thinking, what's the reason am i smiling for today?
because of you?
so sorry, darling..
i'm leaving you as the night pass by.
you're the one that made me thinking and waiting.
well. i'm done with you.
i want to make my self happy now..
i'm not searching for someone whose looking for friends to be with..
i'm searching for someone..
i am.
the one that you used to be.
where is he?
i missed him now..
well. enough talking about this piece of sh*t.
i'm walking away now.
thanks for the memory, anyway.
and i've been thinking about you all night.
spend my night meaningless..
why you always standstill?
and i'm began to be the doer?
i want to be real.. like for real.
i'm thinking, what's the reason am i smiling for today?
because of you?
so sorry, darling..
i'm leaving you as the night pass by.
you're the one that made me thinking and waiting.
well. i'm done with you.
i want to make my self happy now..
i'm not searching for someone whose looking for friends to be with..
i'm searching for someone..
i am.
the one that you used to be.
where is he?
i missed him now..
well. enough talking about this piece of sh*t.
i'm walking away now.
thanks for the memory, anyway.
4.15.2009
Wake Up
Siang dan malam yang berganti.
Sedihku ini tak akan berarti.
Jika kaulah sandaran hati.
Akankah ditemukan suatu saat nanti?
Lelah menanti. Hanya akan menyakiti mu, ia dan dia.
Kapan ini akan berakhir?
Pengejaran tiada henti. Dirimu begitu bersemangat, melakukan segalanya. Apa maumu? Aku tidak dapat memberikan apapun padamu. Sungguh. Aku tak tahu harus mulai dan mengakhirinya dari mana. Sungguh aku tak tahu. Dan jujur saja, aku sudah tidak mengerti. Apalagi tujuan mu. Mengapa tidaklah jera hati mu. Selalu membiarkannya kusakiti. Cukup sudahlah.
Pergilah cari yang lain. Telah kudengar tentang wanita lain, mungkin itulah yang terbaik untukmu. Dirimu dengan siapapun diluar sana. Selain diriku, yang telah terus menyakiti saja. Maaf.
Apa pula keinginanmu? Datang dan pergi begitu saja. Berlalu, hanya memandangnya saja. Berbudikah perilakunya itu? Ia telah mengagumi yang lain. Kenapa akhirnya datang padaku? Aku tidak cocok untuk Ia. Ia bukan untukku. Ia berbeda. Aku tidak bisa bersamanya. Sejak awal, kami memang berbeda. Ia tidak bisa menerima hal prinsipil dan melekat pada diriku, begitu pula dirinya. Mungkin kami memang hanya teman yang terus berjalan tanpa sebuah status yang pasti diantara kita.
Dia datang tiba-tiba dan sangat terburu-buru. Seakan ada batas tertentu untuk mendapatkan seseorang. Salahkah yang Dia lakukan? Tidak. Tapi terlalu cepat. Aku sangat menikmati sebuah proses yang berjalan diantara siapapun. Proses itu indah adanya. Dia tidak menikmatinya. Dia ingin segera. Dia ingin cepat. Manusia zaman sekarang dengan segala kecepatan dan ketepatannya. Tapi tidak untukku. Jika itu yang Dia ingin dapatkan, ketuklah pantai lainnya. Berikanlah mereka perlindungan terbesar suatu saat nanti.
Semuanya ceritaku hari ini dan kemarin.
Besok haruslah berbeda. Siapa gerangan yang akan menyapaku pertama kali di hari baru ini. Hendaklah mendapatkan perhatian untuk hari itu.
Aku tidak mau memilih, Tuhan.
Pilihkanlah untukku.
Dekatkanlah aku dengan yang terbaik, hanya menurut rencana-Mu.
Amin.
*salam untuk ibu dan adikku dirumah.
aku sayang pada kalian. //hugsandkisses
Sedihku ini tak akan berarti.
Jika kaulah sandaran hati.
Akankah ditemukan suatu saat nanti?
Lelah menanti. Hanya akan menyakiti mu, ia dan dia.
Kapan ini akan berakhir?
Pengejaran tiada henti. Dirimu begitu bersemangat, melakukan segalanya. Apa maumu? Aku tidak dapat memberikan apapun padamu. Sungguh. Aku tak tahu harus mulai dan mengakhirinya dari mana. Sungguh aku tak tahu. Dan jujur saja, aku sudah tidak mengerti. Apalagi tujuan mu. Mengapa tidaklah jera hati mu. Selalu membiarkannya kusakiti. Cukup sudahlah.
Pergilah cari yang lain. Telah kudengar tentang wanita lain, mungkin itulah yang terbaik untukmu. Dirimu dengan siapapun diluar sana. Selain diriku, yang telah terus menyakiti saja. Maaf.
Apa pula keinginanmu? Datang dan pergi begitu saja. Berlalu, hanya memandangnya saja. Berbudikah perilakunya itu? Ia telah mengagumi yang lain. Kenapa akhirnya datang padaku? Aku tidak cocok untuk Ia. Ia bukan untukku. Ia berbeda. Aku tidak bisa bersamanya. Sejak awal, kami memang berbeda. Ia tidak bisa menerima hal prinsipil dan melekat pada diriku, begitu pula dirinya. Mungkin kami memang hanya teman yang terus berjalan tanpa sebuah status yang pasti diantara kita.
Dia datang tiba-tiba dan sangat terburu-buru. Seakan ada batas tertentu untuk mendapatkan seseorang. Salahkah yang Dia lakukan? Tidak. Tapi terlalu cepat. Aku sangat menikmati sebuah proses yang berjalan diantara siapapun. Proses itu indah adanya. Dia tidak menikmatinya. Dia ingin segera. Dia ingin cepat. Manusia zaman sekarang dengan segala kecepatan dan ketepatannya. Tapi tidak untukku. Jika itu yang Dia ingin dapatkan, ketuklah pantai lainnya. Berikanlah mereka perlindungan terbesar suatu saat nanti.
Semuanya ceritaku hari ini dan kemarin.
Besok haruslah berbeda. Siapa gerangan yang akan menyapaku pertama kali di hari baru ini. Hendaklah mendapatkan perhatian untuk hari itu.
Aku tidak mau memilih, Tuhan.
Pilihkanlah untukku.
Dekatkanlah aku dengan yang terbaik, hanya menurut rencana-Mu.
Amin.
*salam untuk ibu dan adikku dirumah.
aku sayang pada kalian. //hugsandkisses
2.07.2009
complication
i cannot sleep next to you anyway..
you made me open my eyes, even try to close it, i could not..
why . ?
well, do not ask me.
ask yourself why..
would you like to help me.?
i don't even have to ask, you always do..
always found a way to take my eyes to you..
surely, i forget you..
you're out of my mind already.
but you found a space in my heart that still hurt, and you fill it.
with i don't what, how, but it's fine now.
it's beating now..
even so fast, when you look me in the eye..
hahahahahaaa...
i cannot imagine, what is it.
why.??why you.?
the person i always want to ask forgiveness..
so sorry for what i did..
sorry..
you meant something, really..
but.
i don't know what is it.
you made me open my eyes, even try to close it, i could not..
why . ?
well, do not ask me.
ask yourself why..
would you like to help me.?
i don't even have to ask, you always do..
always found a way to take my eyes to you..
surely, i forget you..
you're out of my mind already.
but you found a space in my heart that still hurt, and you fill it.
with i don't what, how, but it's fine now.
it's beating now..
even so fast, when you look me in the eye..
hahahahahaaa...
i cannot imagine, what is it.
why.??why you.?
the person i always want to ask forgiveness..
so sorry for what i did..
sorry..
you meant something, really..
but.
i don't know what is it.
1.12.2009
dear, whoever you are.
are you the answer to my pray.?
i hope so.
are you the one and only.?
i hope so.
are you always be there for me.?
i hope so.
are you going to be my friends until my last breath.?
i hope so.
are you the one that going to be mine always.?
i hope so.
are you sure about that.?
i hope so.
what's your answer.?
do not playing with those feelings inside of me.
i'w waiting sick here..
wondering, how do you do, what do you do, are you ok, are you sick, have you eat today, have you sleep today, how was your sleep, where are you going, and i am waiting here.
waiting.
waiting for the answers..
your answers, His answers..
he's screaming down there..asking for his shelter.
can i do the same thing.?
asking for mine.?
i spent these moonlight's view alone.
sitting on the balcony..while he's seeing it in the top of mountain..
i hope You understand what this is about.
that's all i want.
life is about happiness. is it my happy ending.?
i needed my answer.
that's all i'm asking.
i hope so.
are you the one and only.?
i hope so.
are you always be there for me.?
i hope so.
are you going to be my friends until my last breath.?
i hope so.
are you the one that going to be mine always.?
i hope so.
are you sure about that.?
i hope so.
what's your answer.?
do not playing with those feelings inside of me.
i'w waiting sick here..
wondering, how do you do, what do you do, are you ok, are you sick, have you eat today, have you sleep today, how was your sleep, where are you going, and i am waiting here.
waiting.
waiting for the answers..
your answers, His answers..
he's screaming down there..asking for his shelter.
can i do the same thing.?
asking for mine.?
i spent these moonlight's view alone.
sitting on the balcony..while he's seeing it in the top of mountain..
i hope You understand what this is about.
that's all i want.
life is about happiness. is it my happy ending.?
i needed my answer.
that's all i'm asking.
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