at last..

in the end, everybody will stand by their own foot. without knowing anybody next to them. just standing in front of the lightest light, then take some step forward. everything will be softened, so tender and peaceful. you haven't felt like this before, ever. like, every burden upon you just vanish away.. the smell of green leaves entering your lungs, and exhales slowly. all you can see just white wall, you're the darkest one. but it's fine, because even though you're dark, there's still a shadow which darker than you. so, it's mean, you're not the darkest one. go further then, you'll see the person that you love the most, your mom and dad, behind them there's your sister. smiling gently to you and call your name. but then, they're gone, don't know how and why. you take some steps again, then you'll see the person you hate the most. your ex-boyfriend girlfriend.. got it? she took him away from you, then she just call your name nicely, and vanish again. what happen? what's wrong with them? where are they going? why am i still here? shortly after that, you'll see your beloved friends, from kindergarten, elementary, junior high, senior high, college, they're all around you. smiling at you cheerfully and call your name again. you're so happy being surrounded by them, you keep turning around, again and again and again and...again. STOP.
you fell...everything turning up site down, there's a lot of lights, like rainbow dancing upon you. slowly, you close your eyes. then wake up from the sudden death. are you alone? no, you're not. there's a handsome man standing next to you and look at you in the eyes, said "it's going to be just fine".
then you realize, you're in heaven.

it's suck.

what did i do.? i was trying to help you win the fight with him. and then, you just mad at me.? damn you,. i don't know am i right or wrong, i was laughing because of his foolishness, and then you put your anger with him in me.? screw you., how come.??? i helped you already with all of those things that i tried to involved you, then it just came to me about other faults..!!!
d a m n . .

nearby fourth

i keep thinking, should i send him in the first place or just be waiting down here with all of my cuirosity about him and his life.
am i afraid to start something big in my life.? i guess i'm just afraid of hurt feelings that i'll have when i got dumped, left behind, so stupid in my entire life. what should i do.? hmm., i think about something once. if you want somebody do it for you, then you have to do it first to somebody. it's just like give and take things, i'll give you dan i'll take you., really like that.? am i right.? or wrong.. i don't know exactly..
or just like this, i don't have to start but just make sure it's the right email address.. hahaha it's just the same,huh.? but, somebody should start it first, or it will never started. then.?
what's my decision.?

i'll send him.,

i won't send him.,

send him.,

don't send him.,

what.??


arghh..

i don't know where to start..

i'm just sitting here, after watching great movie-WANTED played by James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie, etc..
keep wondering what am i gotta do..
even though he has weird kind of hair, i'm still in love with him..
even though many of my friends said he's kind of strange and a bit un-fashionable..
but i said, it's fine..really.!
but now.?
what am i got to do.? i don't know what i should do..
just waiting for his 1st postcard, while he's busy i guess..
or, just start now with send him an email.?
i don't know .

i'll be waiting here.,
until he start everything that already started..

i miss you, MF .

my little big sister

dear, JB
how are you now.? are you doing just fine.? i know you will be all right., still cannot imagine my life now without you standing next to me. even though just for a while, it feels like years.
so how's sidney.? great.? i'll send you the angklung soon, ok.? then you can put it in your desk, show it to your students there..
i'm going to jogja next august, i have a chance to talk about you there.. it's all about you and you, that make me more-MAGiS.
thank you for everything that you gave to me, times, thoughts, energies, loves, cares, angers, a lot.. thank you.
you showed me how to be tough noe..
i saw you next to IA this day, do you love him.? you're great together.. hahahaha
sorry, you have a boyfriend now.. ok, get back to him then..
hmm, how's MF.? you were in the same car right.? did he go straight to the airport.? or what.?
what about PR.? did he cry all the time.? hahaha,. cute boy's crying..
and, another P.? he was just smiling all the time.
Sr.Igna.? is she ok.? she's great..
and..AL and DR.? are they ok.?
take care,ok.?

talk to you later on,sist..