last time.?

this is my last time.,
touching this keyboard .
sitting in this blue chair .
looking to this pc .
wondering in the middle of the night.,who gonna take me to the deepest sea.,to the highest mountains.,to the most beautiful view in the world.?
I'm gonna take my mom to see that.!!
i promise,mom .

i wanna see her happy till her last breath.,enough for everything that she suffered.,she's done with it.!!!
my lil sist and i will make her dream come true.,
what,mom . ?
naju,Korea.?
Rome.?
Europe.?
USA.?
diamond.?
ur jewelry back from the store.?
whatever you want.,i won't ever disappointed you,mom.!!

i wanna give you sum nice house with large garden.,so you can take care of your plants.,you can feed ur fish.,u can have ur great grand son there.,walking to you . screaming and laughing with youu,mom.!!
i wanna see dad kneeing on ur feet asking for ur apologize.,he will realize what he'd done to you,mom.!
don't worry.,
the truth will be reveal soon.!!

mom.,dad.,cathy.,
i'm leaving .
this is the hardest step that i have to take in the rest of my life .
i have to leave both of you alone . with crazy dad.,sorry.!
i know.,we'll survive from this painn . !
yeah . we will.!!
just be passion.,and God will take us in piece.,
*he promises us that .

take care.,
*God please.,this is enough.! do not make us suffered for it.,pleas taking the best care for my entire family.,that's my only wish.!

is it gonna be tomorrow.?

i will start a new day.,if that's God's will.,i will not pass my concern .
i will follow where the wind take me,.where the water of the sea bring me,.
i know . He's will, is the best of the best.,
He will take me to the highest mountain.,to the deepest sea and to the best things that ever happened in my life, l.o.v.e
thank you,God.,

what should i do.?

i wanna confess about sumthing.,
there's sum part of my heart now .
maybe.,yeah . about three part.?what can i say,exactly .
hmm.,first part is i really wanna start my new life as an adult person.,i wanna start my life in Bandung.,with my stuff . you know.,i wanna be Ambassador sumday.,i wanna make them proud to have a daughter like me.,but i'm still struggling with my dad . even though he thought that he could fulfill my daily needs.,but he can't fulfill his oath to God.,he have to stand by for my mom, until the day they will be seperated with God's own will.,is it rite.?am i rite.?
the other things is., i don't wanna leave my sister alone . in this kind of darkness.,she don't deserve that . she was just a kid, anyway . i wanna show her the beauty of life,.all the happy thoughts without thingking about my parents problems.,they're old enough to divide the good and the bad,rite.? they should've been more calm and open minded with all stuff in the world.,
and the last things is.,i felt like i was a huge stuff to carry for my parents life.,i don't wanna make them tired to thingking about me.,you know.?
yeah . i don't know how to be a good parents.,i'm not a good girl either.,but one thing i know.,as long as i believe in God's plan.,and always follow His words,i'll be okey.

kbetulan ato.,

hmm.,kmaren gw skedar iseng adja nelpon bbrapa temen yang dah lmayan lama ga gw telpon . gw sempt nelpon dewi.,trnyata dy k.megamendung . gw sempt nelpon nao.,trnyata dy gy jalan mo k.itc.,gw nelpon yaah . ad lahh.,pas yang nerima swaranya aneh gt.,atuhh . gw ga taw it sapa.,yaa . gw matiin adja.,taw nya orang it nelpon lagi k.hp.,gw ga taw . yaa.,jadi mc adja .
lanjutt.,pagi2 dy nelpon lagi k.hp.,gw mash tidur ya.,jadi viocemail .
laluu . blom lama.,dy nelpon lagi.,baru gw trima d . hehe
dy blang.,gy binun diantara skulah d.sini ato d.sanaa.,kbetulan yang lmayan brarti . karena dy blang.,pgen ngomong am orang yang dah dy kenal baik.,dan sdikit jauh kenal dy jugaa .
and.,there i am.,gw disana .
nyoba ngajak ngobrol dy tentang banyk hal.,yang brhubungan dengan konsekwensi kalo dy skulah disini ato.,dsanaa .
well.,it felt like.,ad ikatan .
am i rite.?
dsaat gw buth orang bwat skedar ngobrol.,i'm lookg for him .
dan dsaat yang sama trnyata dy buth orang bwat brbagi.,salg ngomongin sgala hal .

Tuhan.,
ap ini cuma skedar kbetulan.?
atoo . sswatu yang bakal trjadi sswai dengan rncana.Mu yang luar biasa.?

i'm feeling great,then.,

pilih mana . ?

1. Hubungan Internasional - Universitas Parhyangan Bandung . ?
2. Bussines International - President University Cikarang . ?

haiyoo.,pilihh manaa.?

mama

wanita ini.,adalh wanita terkuat skaligus wanita trcengeng yang prnah gw kenal.,mugkn kalo jadi artis . mama dah jadi ibu yang slalu trtindas oleh sapa punn.,
hehehe
mama yang slalu dan pastinyaa.,nelpon gw stiap saat kalo lagi ga ad drumah .
entah gw ngerjain tugas am tmen2.,jalan kek kmana.,ato malah gw gy jalan am sodara bahkann kali gw jalan am ade gw adja.,tiap saat pasti suka dtelponin .
mama tuh slalu bawa makanan kmana adja.! bahkan cuma nganter ade les adja,jajanan yang dbawa seabrek2 . tapii.,anehnyaa.,jajanan yang mama bawa pasti enak dan pastinyaa abis am qta2 . hehe
jago masak.!top cerr dahh.,masakan jawa aplg.,hehe kalo skedar lodeh am telor adja, gw dah demen bagd tuhh.,mama emang slalu punya masakan yang ga prnah gw boseninn .
dan gw bakal kangen bagd nanti kalo ngkost nanti.,mo makn ap gw.?huhu
mama yang slalu gw ciuminn.,dan lags merindingg . haha balesannya ga dapet jilatan . euhh.,hahaha tapii.,it ngangeninn .
ac kamar mama yang dulu duingiinn.,enak gt . skarang jadi panas.,freon ny kalii .
mama slalu mantau gw jugaa.,kalo gw gy nelpon lah, smsan lah, chat lahh, bahkan skedar browsg adjaa.,nelpon sapa.? smsan am sapa.? lagi ngpaen tuh.?
mama slalu adja.,takut ank nya ginilah.,gitulahh.,
mama tuh slalu mnta dianter kmana adja.,dari skedar bayar aer,listrik,telpon.,smuanyaa dahh . hehehe
mama juga suka notn lhoo.,dari notn bioskop, layar tencep, ampe konser mini.nya club 8o's kmarenn . haha mama rela brmacet2 riaa.,walopun pada akhrnyaa.,ga jadi notn .
tapii . jagn ajak mama notn bola d.stadion.,gw adja blom pergi dah diomel2in muluu.,aplg kalo gw jadi pergi tuhh . geger duniaa.,hehe
mama slalu enak diajk ngobrol ap adja.,dari masalh cowo,plajaran,temen,sms2 lucu,selebritiss.!!haha.,smuanyaa dahh.,
tapii.,gw palg sering brantem am mama.,palg sring bt2an.,sering jg curhat2 an, nags2 bareng,. mugkn karena gw keras.,jadi rada ga sabaran.,slalu bikn mama marahh.,
maab yaa.,maaa .

papa

saia ga maw cerita papa yang skarang.,
karena papa yang skarang bukan papa yang slama hampr 17tahn hidup dalm kluarga kecil ini .
well.,leave it .
gw bakal meninggalkan smua kenangan yang ad drumah ini.,
setiap jejak kaki papa yang pasti kdengaran kalo malem2 gy jalan d.lantai atas.,
langkah kaki papa yang slalu mghentak2 d.bawahh .
stiap bunyi klakson yang nyaring d.depan rumah.,waktu papa pulang kantor.,
wangi rokok yang sampe skarang mash suka kerasa d.stiap sudut rumah dan di relung hati yang paling dalam., *i wanna taste it.,
k.posesifan papa stiap gw buka kompu.,suka dpantau . takut2 anknya yang manis ini bka2 web bokep mungkn.,haha
k.takutan papa stiap mantan jemput krumah bwat ngajak jalan.,pasti papa lags duduk d.batu2.,belaga cuek padalah idungnya kembangkempis.,hehehe
gaya papa memainkan sendok garpunya stiap makan masakan mama yang paling top.markotop .
wangi papa stiap baru kelar mandy.,
gw rindu nyiapn boxer bwat papa.,boxer yang gw bli d.bdg, warna ny kuning ngjreng.,haha
kangen denger dehaman "ehemm"nya it lhoo.,
kangen nyiapn spatu lah,kaoskaki lah,saputangan lah stiap papa maw brangkat kerjaa.,
stiap baju yang dpake slalu matching.,padupadann .
kalo pergi am mama.,pasti warna baju ny slaras.,dan enak gt dliat .
stiap mo k.greja past nentuin dl baju mana yang mo dpake.,warna nya apaa.,
walopun papa dah cape.,past ska nyuci mobil, ga maw ad yang bantuin, "olahraga,"katanyaa.
btapa bangga ny gw waktu papa nany2 hal bwat lived.in.,hehe khawatirin ank2nyaa.,
waktu papa jemput dan mantau gw pas lived.in.,cuma gw yang dgituin.,
dan bakal cuma gw yang dginiin.,
makash,pa .

i'm leaving

akhirnyaa.,
yang slama ini gw tunggu2 . dateng jugaa.,
hari2 inii.,dsaat gw bakal beranjak pergi ninggalin smua yang ad dsinii.,
ninggalin kenangan akn semuanyaa.,

failed .

failed . ?
the worst word for your exam.,F.!
and . umm.,i failed.,for the University of Indonesia . international relation.,but it's ok.,i get the other better one, University of Parahyangan,Bdg., still with the same major.,international relation .
next week.,i won't be sitting here and look at this computer anymore.,i'll be alone in my room in bandung.,maybe, holding my new laptop,sony.?or.,just holding my new handphone.,or . the last but not least.,just staring at the stars in the sky .
i believe.,this is the best for me.,
thank,God .